A happy hello and I hope that your day has been your friend. I have had one of my off days with the fibro giving the rest of my body a ‘not do that today…’ orders.
It is so difficult to keep myself motivated and finding reasons to get up and try to get through the day. It was bad enough when I just had the fibro but now I have a list of possible complaints that no one has an answer for and I am just left to deal with it until the medical profession work their way through it.
I am doing all that I have been asked to do – watch what I eat, exercise, try to stay happy but nothing stops that days/weeks like this. I am so down that I think I will go to a mental health clinic until we have this sorted out properly this time. I have always been of the mindset that if I do not stay long then it is not that bad. However to lose my hold on the language, basic skills, not being able to read, in short, my fine skills I really do need help. I do not know what damage the turn in October did but I certainly need proper help to fi it and the ego can take a holiday whilst I repair the brain.
I am one who has always been able to manage everything on her own, but now it is very restricted and it makes me aggressive, moody and depressed. I keep thinking that if I ask for extended help that people will think that I have something seriously wrong with me, therefore it is me and not anything else. I am currently sitting here in tears because I do not know how to go next. I have a course for the job agency (which will be a problem because of my bone joints), I want to just walk away to never be found again, and all because at 56 I should not be like this. I am going to say goodnight to all and I hope that your tomorrow is happy and blessed.