Good evening to all, I am a little late getting it all together today as I have been in one of those ‘I feel as if I can not find a place for myself in this world’. I hope that you are all good and enjoying your weekend as one should. My blog is going to be very short tonight as I have made a plan to re-organise my life starting tomorrow. I feel that my biggest problem has been that I have been trying to take on to much information from others rather than look at what is important to me and just how much I can really and truly do.
I now know that I have to do this myself (I do have a couple of girlfriends that will support me) but to reclaim my life and retrain myself for the skills I have lost it is like being a teacher in the classroom – show the young one how to do it, then let them discover how to do it for themselves.
I am going to my doctor and mental health doctor next week but this time I am going with a heap of questions. The parts of me that are not working properly even though I do exercise them, the horrid mood swings despite the drugs I am on, the fact that I do not seem to be making any improvement. I think to this point I have just been that disinterested in my our well being that I have settled for what has been said to me. Quite happy to accept that ‘well as I survived a near death experience 7 months ago I can accept it all as is because I nearly was not here’.
I had a fellow blogger chat with me last night that really got me thinking and if I do not take control of my own health and well-being then I have no chance of getting better. So I am going to make sure that I have control. Yes I know I am anxious and have depression but I have them whether I lay in bed feeling sorry for myself and hiding from the world or making myself proactive and focusing myself back into the real world.