Good Morning to all and I hope that your day is treating you with love and understanding. It is a wonderful day here with the weather is looking like we will get a late storm, I simply adore our thunderstorms, sitting on the patio and watching the light show with the cooling rain. I am still a bit on the off side but am up and interacting as my medical team told me to.
Today I am going to sit down and work out a proper ‘as I go’ daily planner. One where I have – wake up a 6am: walk 6.15-6.45: shower 6.45…you get the idea, so that I can re-train myself. My medical team at the moment are mainly concerned about the depression but I have lost much of my muscle use on my left-hand side since I had that turn in June. I think that if I can pick up things, get back into my crafts, cooking, reading and the other activities I did before the seizure, it may help me cope better with my depression.
I have days where I feel like I own the world and then the next day I am scared to leave my room, I have the strategies that the medics gave me, and I am coping with it but it does not help with the feeling of overall uselessness. Yesterday I penned my blog in less than an hour…the words just flowed, yet today I am struggling with everything – the spelling, getting my ideas out of my brain, sentence structure and all the other things that should come naturally for a writer. Of course, this makes me feel just that little bit disappointed in me as a person because English and writing have always been my haven.
What this means for me is that I just have to decide how that day is going to be when I get up. I will have those activities that I MUST do (medical profession want me to walk daily) personal health habits, the activities I ACTUALLY enjoy – writing my blog, and those activities that my kids let me slide on when I am not having a good day – yes the housework. However, I feel that if I am going to overcome this and really reinvent myself that I need to firm with me.
As I shared with my regular readers the other day I really do not have any idea WHO I actually am. Yes, I know what I can do but not who I am and that is just a little scary. I will need professional help to review and repair the damage done during my developing childhood years, but as for who I am, well that will be up to me. Rather exciting when you get to create the person you are going to be and you are well into your fifties!
I have never been concerned about wealth, I am very passionate about people’s rights, I oppose governments who think that they have the right to do as they like without consolation from the citizens. I firmly believe that children must have care, love, and support. I have a very strong ‘hippy’ ideology and still believe that capitalism is not the answer. That is what I have come up with since Friday, when I answered “Mother, Teacher…”, and was stopped as that described what I do.
Well, that is it for today as the head has decided that it has worked enough for today. I thank you for dropping by and taking the time to see what progress I am making. I hope that you will have a peaceful day and find some restful time just for you.