A cheerful hello to you and thank you for dropping by. I sincerely hope that your day has been all you were hoping for. I have had one that has been kind to me and as normal with these days I catch up on what I have not been doing.
I have sorted my room, moped, swept, organised for me to go to the mainland for my blood test and just generally feel as if has been a good day. Of course, now I feel as if I have been in a marathon so hopefully I will sleep well. This depressive bout is really causing me problems and I think it is because I have always had other things to hide behind and cover it up before. I really am having trouble getting my head around the fact that I can not do as I should do and I have no control over it.
I do know that I refuse to give in and whilst I keep getting these urges to end it all and the demons keep pushing me, I do know I can get help. It is not necessarily all about me but what does stop me, is that I discovered that the childhood abuse I suffered in silence was of benefit for me when I found young people acting out, and I knew I could help. So I know that this is part of the reason why now…it is not just about me but I do have to live through it so I can help with a real understanding.
I really do not know where the direction of my life is heading but I know that what I am experiencing at the moment is for a reason. I am currently following several people on this site and I read your work as you blog. This is allowing me to see the various writers, your views and how the world impacts on you. I am encountering things I would not have come across if this had not happened to me, so I figure that there must be a reason for it and I need to see where it takes me. So, for now, it is each day as it fines me and hopefully enjoy it.