A wonderful good morning to you on this beautiful Thursday, and I hope that you are enjoying your day so far. I have had an early start today and am feeling better than I have for several weeks, so I am planning on making the most of it. I am not going to push it too much but I am going to do enough to feel as if I have achieved something on worth.
I have eaten a healthy breakfast, had a bit of a ride on my new exercise bike, it was only half an hour, an easy pace but I feel better for having achieved something I can actually measure. It is often the small things that make you feel best when your world is not as it should be. I have a couple of chores to do which includes a nice clean up of my room, one of those tasks we put off, but I really do need to get some of those books to the recycle shop, the old paperwork into the rubbish and the walls a sound wash down, I just love spring for that very reason…you have to do those tasks you have ignored for so long, but you end up with a nice, clean and fresh start!
I did much soul searching over the past week as I have had my confidence, sense of wellness and my purpose, really challenged with this latest bout of medical upheaval. I do know that it is not life threating but for me and my mental issues, I really do have problems truly believing it. I am a very lucky woman as I have my children who are supporting me when I can not organise myself…just little things like getting an evening meal together or making sure I am drinking enough water for a day, means the difference between me getting through the day or not.
Because I have spent so much of my life working to schedules, achieving goals and thinking that I can not be of any worth if I did not give others concepts that mean I can be assessed, filed or numbered as a quality, I naturally falter when I can not do this normally. Last evening my daughter gave the phone number for a lady who runs a weekly dance class, and I decided to ring on the off chance that I could go with my health restrictions….I was so surprised to be told that the group has more ‘than one lady who could be viewed as having a restriction, but that did not stop any of them’, so I am heading off next week to go to my first dance class and make myself some new friends.
I know that I do have real health issues but just how much more restrictive do I make them by not pushing myself a little more each day because I emotional, mental and physical feel so bad, it is simple to hide and ignore everything. I have decided that I am going to keep a journal, where I record my bike riding for each day (I actually do not have to leave the house) and improve on the exercise, therefore, the body improvement, go out once a week for the dance session and actually interact with other ladies who have issues as well, and focus on positive reinforcement for who I really am. I know it is will not be an overnight event but I really am not able to do anything in any great hurry, so slow and steady wins the race.