A cheery hello today, and thank you for deciding to join me for another blog.
Today has been one of those days that we all have….’if you have anything to do with it, something did go wrong!’ My Centrelink payment has been cut again for what has been deemed as an overpayment. The new health program I am undertaking in an effort to get myself back to who I was, help me with issues I have carried for years, and eventually back into the workforce, is at risk because I can not pay the membership fees and get my food. End result – I am aching all over, had a massive panic attack and can not manage to keep any food in my system. So to deflect my brain from the issues, reducing the stress and potential risk, I started reading through the articles I have been saving to review later. I found this wonderful article, I have included the link if you want to read it yourself.
I have been getting a little frustrated because I see my down time as wasted, and I keep coming back to the fact that I trained to teach and there is little chance of me returning to this profession. I am in my mid-fifties and the skills I have acquired are of no use; my health issue means my job choices are greatly restricted. I did go through this in my mid-thirties after I damaged L4-5 in a work related accident, that was when I took myself off to university to study teaching, but I was raising the kids, and life was just something that did what I told it to do.
Now, I have all the issues that women go through when the kids grow up and can stand on their own two feet. On your own, not needed or wanted, but trying to pretend that it is not so, trying to find who you are again, looking for anything you can hang on to that stops you from feeling as if you are unwanted and unlovable. We are a growing group but basically are remaining quiet because, for me at least, I am happy to fight to ensure that someone else is taken care of, but I refuse to do so for myself because my problems are not really that bad, and it is just bloody embarrassing to admit that you have no one in your life that wants to care for you! Sorry I got myself sidetracked, back to this wonderful article about a different way to use downtime.
I came across this article, it said that there are benefits to having relaxation time, that laziness could be good for you, you did not have to feel bad about having a midday nap, of course, it caught my attention and I read on. I could enjoy this time instead of feeling guilty, and as I got into the article further it highlighted the benefits of having down time. I have listed them below but will write them up in my ‘carry with me notebook’, so when I am feeling useless I can refer to the list and be proud of just how much good I am doing.