My first blog, and if you clicked on the link from Facebook, then thank you.
I will let you know straight up that I have sustained a level of brain damage. The medical profession is not certain just how much or if it is permanent. The reason I share this is that as a lover of the English language I find myself getting very distressed over the errors I make with grammar and spelling. I will say to y’all use a pen and correct the errors then let me know!
I have decided to create this blog simply because I love to write, and it has always been the way I resolve issues in my world. I am having massive problems trying to sort this last event out, and at least as I put the words on paper I can process it. It is going to be all about me, but as you share in my journey of self-discovery, I really do hope that you gain insight into who you are, how you interact with others, and just where you put yourself in the big scheme of things.
The picture I am sharing is the one taken at the hospital on the 12th June. Prior to this the last memory I have was opening the door for a friend on the 1st of June. I spend eight days in a medically induced coma, and it took my body a further three days to sort itself out enough for me to have any idea what was happening. I have to be totally honest and say that at this point it really was not an issue, except when I became very distressed as I wanted to talk to my children, but once that was organised I settled again. I have absolutely no memory of any of this, which is a little distressing.
I was transferred to the ward but it was still another day before I actually started to ask ‘where I was’ and ‘what had happened’. I only have the recount of these events according to the medical staff who tendered me. I am not sure how well I am dealing with the fact that I was considered a critical patient for over 48 hours, and I had no awareness. I had always assumed that if you got to the point where your life was in the balance that you would have an awareness. To find out that you could have passed and you would have not had any knowledge is terrifying. I am struggling with this more than anything else that has happened since June.
It is very scary to completely lose eleven days from your life and have no answer as to why. I still have no real reason as to what happened, but the one thing that everyone who has performed any test, engaged, or treated me, agrees about is that there is no specific reason for what happened, and it could happen again. I have had bleeds into the frontal lobe, I am now epileptic, and have a list of specialist to visit as the medical profession try to work out what is going on.
I have many issues that I am going to work though. I have spent much time working with those society labels as ‘damaged’, but have always been too pigheaded to admit that I too have issues.I believe that nothing happens without a purpose, so I have decided I am ready. I am going to find out what the cosmos has planned for me.